Today I want to share with you the three most important insights that any client of mine can take away from their coaching journey.
- Before you can make it about anyone else you have to make it about yourself.
- The voices in your head are real, talk to them.
- You are changing the world; do it consciously.
Before you can make it about anyone else you have to make it about yourself.
The standard pre-flight safety briefing cautions passengers, in the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, to place their own oxygen mask on before assisting children and other passengers. Selfish though it may sound, the reason for this is obvious; without your own oxygen mask you will become incapacitated and not only incapable of assisting anyone, but needing assistance yourself! The same is true in life; to be truly effective in the world we must take care of ourselves first. The impulse to people please, to stretch ourselves too thinly, to overwork or put ourselves last is a tough one to manage. If you are not investing in yourself, if you are not saying no when you need to, you will find your resources depleted, leaving you not only unable to give your best in service of others but possibly even burnt out and needing help from others. It is not a selfish indulgence to make it about you first, it is a requirement.
The voices in your head are real, talk to them.
To be precise, question them. The voices sound very authoritative when they are triggered, but the truth is their vehemence is rooted in their insecurity. The voices fight hard to keep their residence in your head by resisting any alternative views (as anyone who has spent hours reciting affirmations will have discovered). In a head-to-head contest, the pre-existing belief will always win. The only way to trump the existing voice is to interrogate it. A habit of asking ourselves questions like “Is that the absolute truth?”, “What if I am capable?” or “What if it is possible?” disables the argumentative cycle in our heads and allows us to breakthrough to the place where conscious thought, insights and internal shifts happen. The voices are real and they don’t know as much as you think they do, go ahead, ask them!
You are changing the world; do it consciously.
Your presence on the planet changes everything. Take for example the parable of the man who comes across a snail on a gravel path. Immediately, he is faced with a choice; the repercussions of which will echo into perpetuity. What should he do? He could place the snail safely on the grass verge, an act of kindness to the snail which would render him accountable for any future snails that will issue from this one (and the future frustrated gardeners). Alternatively, he could leave the snail to die, whereupon he renders himself accountable for the snail’s demise and the termination of its genetic line. Whatever this man chooses, the world will be irrevocably changed.
So it is in life; every choice you make changes the world. The possibilities that this opens up are wild! Simply put you have the power, through your consistent choice of certain attitudes, values and habits to leave the world a little better or a little worse than you found it. Consider how the choices you make every day have already changed the world. If you could change anything about the world what would it be? Now that you have seen your power, use it wisely and keep changing the world, consciously!