“A commitment is an exercise of will and is therefore an action, not just words.”
Tania M Adams
‘The problem is all inside your head,’ she said to me. ‘The answer is easy if you take it logically. I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free…there must be fifty ways to leave your lover.’ ~ from 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
If there are fifty ways to do anything, there must be a hundred ways. Irrespective of the subject of our commitment, there will always be a myriad of options to choose from when deciding a course of action. It is human nature to want to do things the right way; the more challenging the commitment, the higher the tendency towards engaging in a protracted internal debate over the merits of each path.
To spend too long in the debate is to risk being run by assumptions about a future that has not yet arrived.
To remain in integrity with ourselves and with life, we must be willing to make decisions based only on what we know to be true now, act definitively and adjust our course as we move forward.
In this way, we feed the momentum of life; truths as yet unseen are revealed to us, new decisions can be made and a legacy sculpted from the reality of life as we are living it, moment to moment.
If there are fifty ways to do anything, there must be a hundred ways, so I crAzy™ dare you; pick one and see what happens ………… …………what are you waiting for?
Yesterday was a hot, summery sort of day that turned into a beautiful evening of clear skies and a billion stars. I even commented to a friend that the Easter weekend is going to be kind to our little holiday village with weather like this.
To my surprise, I awoke this morning to lightly falling rain and overcast skies; the kind of day the Irish refer to as a ‘soft day’. No less wonderful than yesterday, simply a complete contrast.
This is the beauty and power of the ‘in-between’ seasons; Autumn and Spring. The long weeks of fabulously hot summer days can leave us feeling a little complacent, settled into a comfort zone of predictability. Autumn’s changeability reminds us to live in the moment, be present to the now, for we do not know what tomorrow will hold. Nothing about life is ever completely predictable.
If there is something to be done, do it today! Tomorrow may very well bring sunny skies and a perfect breeze that have you aching to go and fly a kite on the beach. If today is that day go and fly the kite, for there is no guarantee the moment will present itself ever again.
I wonder, what is your heart aching for you to experience today that you keep putting off to another day…..?
I am terribly impatient! The closer things get the more I want to rush them along. I just get so excited! When I was a child my parents learned very quickly not to tell me in advance of anything special that was coming up, because I would wind myself up like a spinning top in the run-up, and invariably crash spectacularly on the day! My Mom says it was sad for her to withhold the information from me, because she loves anticipation and looking forward to things. My excitement in anticipation was simply too much to handle.
Having mastered the art of keeping the crAzy™ one (me!) calm, my parents went on to have another child who had quite the opposite temperament; if things were sprung on him (which invariably they were since I couldn’t be told in advance), he would go to pieces. He needed to be prepared in advance, know the outcome so he could get his head around it beforehand. His anxiety in the face of the unknown was too much to handle.
And yet, for both my brother and I, and for my parents, the future came to us, as planned.
The future seems to do that.
Whether we fret about it by obsessing in excitement, or fret about it by worrying in fear, the future arrives………
~ from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
None of us is only one thing at a time, yet we strive to define ourselves as this or that, to the exclusion of anything else, often becoming angry with ourselves when we find we are not what we thought we were in a given moment. What’s more we are encouraged to abide by our culture or society’s understanding of what it means to be a woman, a man, a wife, a husband, a business person, a mother, a lover…..
Yet, our essential nature is always there and underlies everything else that we are. It is indeed the very thing that enables us to bring our unique flavour and gifts to any role that we find ourselves in.
The deepest, most important awareness we can develop is the knowledge of our true essence. We must learn it, know it, embrace it; both its light and shadow sides. It is only then that we can fully infuse that essence into whomever we choose to be in each moment. This we must do; it is what it means to be a human be-ing, to live our legacy daily.
Are you honouring your true essence; do you know who you are “above all”?
When I composed this letter, I had come to the end of my tether. I was no longer having fun; in fact I had not been having fun for a long time. I was selling the “Abundance is our birthright” concept and cheer-leading clients to create “your life, your way”, and there I was not having fun! Moreover, I was broke, bored and miserable. The only upside was I was at last fulfilling my dream of living at the ocean. At that point, I had the choice to crumble and throw in the towel, to conclude that everything I believed in and taught was nonsense or I could take a stand and turn the tide. I chose the latter and this letter was my statement of intent!
One of the strangest things I have experienced about working for myself is that there is no external routine or rhythm imposed upon me. If there are kids, then their routine holds one to an extent, until they go off to school where after, a blank slate of time looms ahead during which I can accomplish sooooo much…….! Except somehow, it doesn’t always pan out like that. There seem to be days where it is hard to say what I did. Not in a general way, in a specific way; “what did I do to grow my business today?” Time freedom I have discovered can be a double edged sword; it sounds like a dream when we don’t have it, and then when we do it can be very intimidating.
I have THE VOICE who constantly reminds me that I should be doing this or that, or more of that, or less of this. The worst part is that somehow THE VOICE is always laced with guilt!
As if it wasn’t enough to have the days to myself, this year I find myself the single mom of a single child who has become a weekly boarder at her school……..more time to myself…….really? Really, really? Suddenly, I could get up and go to bed whenever I wanted! Who needs daylight saving time….my whole day shifted out by 3 hours! The result? I was ineffective, over tired and out of sync inside my body. Morning and evening required discipline.
So, I created some rituals to keep me moving in flow and this has helped a lot. They are by no means rigid, yet they are firm in my mind and give me anchor points in the day. They keep me within my rhythm. I also discovered an added benefit; they suddenly gave me purpose in a way that I had not previously recognised. Rather than chores, my rituals have become little milestones of achievements repeated daily that leave me feeling confident, capable and effective, powerful! Now I just have to invest in one of those coffee machines that wakes me up with freshly brewed coffee……hmmmm
“Here’s to the Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world – are the ones who DO!” ~ Apple Computers ~
“what an incredible privilege it is to be invited to walk alongside a child, to travel with them and experience the journey of one who is preparing each day to fulfil their unique place in the world; this it what it is to be a parent.”
Tania M Adams
“Clutter is anything we have in our external or internal world that no longer adds positive energy and value to our lives.” ~ Tania M Adams
“What you may not be aware of is that clutter comes into our lives because we want it there. We keep the clutter with us because it serves a unique purpose for us on a subconscious level” ~ Tania M Adams
“Staying in action in service of your goal keeps the energy flowing and ensures that you will find the right match for what you have to offer.” ~ Tania M Adams
A little over a year ago, I realised that although my role as a coach was to inspire people to live their dreams, my own wish list was not complete. It was time to walk my talk!
“April 8, 2010
I have a list, a list of things that I have always wanted to do, that I keep saying I will do …one day….Today I decided to make one day…now day! And now I am daring to go for making my dreams a reality, so that others can see it is possible for them too!”
I examined the list; it was limited to things that I would be annoyed about if I died suddenly and hadn’t done even though they would have been possible. Some were complete, some untouched, and some partially complete, none impossible. I committed to tick everything off as soon as possible.
At first I was excited, and then I panicked! Suddenly, I felt vulnerable and exposed. Those unfulfilled wishes defined me; they gave me something to talk about, they allowed me to live in a fantasy and not have to commit to anything in the now, they created the illusion that I was moving towards something. As long as the wishes were unfulfilled I didn’t have to risk failing or think of the next level to work towards, they were my comfort zone, my self imposed ceiling of achievements.
“April 9, 2010
This commitment to making it happen has brought up all sorts of anxiety. I keep wondering what I will do when I have achieved everything on my list. I realise that we keep the “one day” list just that because we are scared of what will happen when we have what we want. What will be left to do, to dream for? And suddenly I see that if I get these things done, I get to choose new cool stuff to work towards. Yeeha!
Today I called the piano teacher. First lesson is booked for 14 April.
I have also made a decision to move to the sea. We’re off to Port Alfred in July.”
The crAzy™ challenge for you today is to dust off your list, commit to completing it and to a completion date. Figure out how, get a coach if you need to and get cracking!
Imagine what dreams you can put on the next list once you have achieved these!
Have you ever wondered what it means to “surrender to love”?
“If we were supposed to do it all by ourselves we would have been sent to inhabit
our own individual planets, just like the Little Prince on his star.”~ Tania M Adams
Inertia is the tendency of an object in motion to remain in motion, or an object at rest to remain at rest, unless acted upon by a force. Described by Sir Isaac Newton’s first law of motion, this timeless natural law applies not only to physical objects; it applies to lives as well. The oft maligned comfort-zone, where many find themselves, is a colloquial description of the effect of inertia.
The trouble with staying in one place too long is that what was comfortable eventually becomes uncomfortable, numbing and stagnant. When people fail to shift from the path and direction their life is taking, it is not out of laziness or a lack of ambition. When a person appears to repeat the same patterns over and over without successfully changing the results, it is not out of stupidity or ignorance. These situations occur purely because the laws of physics govern us all; inertia will keep us on the same path, repeating the same mistakes, until we are shifted by a force greater than the force of inertia. The required force may come in the form of a great and unexpected upheaval or tragedy; a job loss, a death, an accident. There is a greater force, however, that will act upon the effect of inertia in life; the force of commitment!
Anyone who has tried to take a corner in a car travelling too fast, or pushed a car that has broken down knows how much energy, focus and persistence it takes to change the direction of an object in motion, or create motion where none exists.
As I travel with my clients through their coaching journey, I never fail to be inspired by their courage to fully engage with the process and step outside of themselves in service of their commitment to create a new way of life, a life of abundance. Through the force of their commitment, driven by the power of coaching, my clients take back their lives and create what they really want. When I witness this, I am inspired by the knowledge that nothing in this world is impossible and I am reminded of the words of anthropologist Margaret Mead who said, “Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
If you would like to experience the crAzy™ power of coaching for yourself, click here to view our coaching programs. We have tailored programs designed to shift you out of inertia and into living the life you are designed to be living.
Click here now!
“Use the awareness of clutter as a signal to show us where we are holding onto something, usually from the past.”~ Tania M Adams
“When it is hard don’t give up; keep moving, one step at a time and you cannot fail to reach your goal.” ~ Tania M Adams
“It is important to both commit to a vision for the relationship and then let it grow into that vision.” ~ Tania M Adams